The Mohrcast: Ballooning, &c




An old flame sent me a brief and somewhat cryptic email in the wee hours of this morning, requesting me to write a note or poem or song about the night we met.
this was supposed to go to you...
From: [REDACTED]Date: November 21, 2009 2:37:33 AM ESTSubject: Re: memory recorded
start when you met me but progress to playing piano for me in your prof;s apt. what were you experiencing? this is very important to me as is honesty....
with the caveat that you had me so hooked & in love
On Nov 21, 2009, at 1:33 AM, [REDACTED] wrote:write me a note, a poem, or a bit of prose for how who saw and experienced me when you first met me...your choice, Ill see you soon enough I hope[REDACTED]p.s.music is ok too. I just started piano lessons, maybe one day Ill understand
Bildungsroman
The scene: What now? Fresh from the full-body tattoo of college, I am inflamed and vulnerable to whatever formative influence one might expect from a summer’s layover in New York City. I am a fresh-faced Nick Carraway, slinging coffee at Des Moines. The fog of youth, caffeine, and an acquired affinity for scotch whisky have my mind ripe for some Gatsby to blow it.
It’s drinks after work at some bar straddling the Villages—exciting Manhattan faggots all around. I am here, perhaps, for an introduction to someone or someone else, but who’s this? You’re a friend of a friend of a regular at the coffee shop, or of my tall, queeny coworker. Of course I’m gravitated to this guy; he’s clearly the brain in the room—green (lantern?) t-shirt, urbane salt-&-pepper hair, spirit-induced mischief (which I will come to love) flashing in your glassy eyes.
I will not recall what we talk about while we stroll to Tom Bogdan’s place; music, literature, typical flirtatious getting-to-know-you fare, I suspect. I am apartment-sitting for Tom, my college voice professor and advisor. I have been padding around the place gingerly, afraid of what tawdry baubles of too-much-information Idle Curiosity might unearth there. I will later come to understand that it was the defensive crouch of my fledgling homosexuality that had throughout my education inspired me to project a specious and uneasy pall of ‘dirty-old-man’ on poor Tom. So while I’m sure Tom wouldn’t mind (defensive crouch says he might quite enjoy the idea), it feels transgressive to have brought this charming trick here. The flat is closer, though, than the room I’m renting in Spanish Harlem that seems so impossibly far away.
What now? We had undertaken this endeavor under the impression that it was some innocent, slutty maneuver, but suddenly it’s fraught by unexpected intensity. Alone now inside Tom’s strange time-capsule of latter 20th Century Manhattan queer history, we are giddy. It hardly matters what we’re talking about; you’re amusing yourself with my naïveté, I’m entranced by your intelligence and privelege. The night, the music, the liquor, the attraction are all swirling up and it’s a wonder we can keep our hands off each other for long enough for me to play you a song on Tom’s piano.
The song is the engorged silence that precedes an explosion in a film. It will be difficult for you to believe I am playing it without intent to seduce; trust, though, that youth has granted me license for limitless ingenuousness this summer. After inebriated excuses for what I’m sure will be an inferior performance, I launch into a rendition of “For Sarah,” all hopeful and earnest. It does a trick, and does the trick in; in lieu of applause, a pregnant pause during which a missile hits silently in the distance; wait for it…
I’ve turned to face you now, and now I am a sheepish siren. I realize, blushing, that the song has laid me bare, and the scene is suddenly much more intimate. For a moment there are no words—only the ball idling for a spell in your court.
That moment has passed and of course our mouths are on each other, our hands and tongues busying themselves as if we’ve done this before. It begins on the couch, so naughty in the lamplight, and proceeds to the darkness of the bedroom—then we’re beastly, het up and coasting wild to a quick and enervating climax. (This would not prove to be the cadence of later, more thorough couplings scored by oval and Low and Ida.)
And now we are collecting our breath. And now you are collecting your clothes. And now I am alone, drunk and spent in the hot darkness of Tom’s bedroom, body ringing like a giant ear just home from a rock show.
And now I am asleep.
This was the first sentence in a paragraph that was cramped for space on the page of that summer. Its last sentence (or the last sentence that fit) describes us being photographed in flagrante at Starlight. I return to that photo like it was once my favorite song.
You command me to write this in a stuttering flurry of incomplete late-night emails that read almost like Nigerian 419 spam; were it not for the inclusion of personal details that no Nigerian could know, I might have dismissed them as so much digital apocrypha.
You stress the importance of honesty, with a caveat that I’d had you so “hooked & in love.” Why? Do you not trust my recollection to be as fond? Assure yourself, it is the fondest.
How are you and the piano faring?
Ronny's is in a sad state. For those who don't know the filthy, smelly Logan Square dive bar/drywall rock venue at California & Dickens, I'd advise you to stay away - at least until they clean up their act/space.
Der Spiegel:
Never A Secretary:
Condo:
On Revolving Doors:
Milk Brand Milk:
I'm playing music a bunch in the coming week+1/2:


A poster I just made for an upcoming All Saints Day show by Relaxation Record, Hedia, and Fielded.
As I've mentioned, DRMWPN traveled to Pittsburgh this weekend to perform at the ROY GEE BIV Festival of Robotics & Music. The four of us piled into a rented Hyundai Sonata on a gloomy Friday, and drove through rain, fog, and bewildering directions from my Blackberry's navigation system to the sleepy Steel City.
This coming weekend, DRMWPN is traveling to Pittsburgh as a quartet: Jim Dorling (amplified & processed harmonium, voice), Steve Krakow (amplified & processed banjo), Dan Schneider (electric guitar), and Dan Mohr (voice, Nord Electro2). We'll be performing as part of the ROY GEE BIV festival of robotics & sound (see the previous post about Joshua Space for more information about that).
October is nigh, I am recently 31, and mercury is out of retrograde (I think). And I have a ton of shows coming up.
